Chapter 16

Chapter 16: One good memory.

 

It was noon, and I had a couple of hours before I had to get ready for the Christmas party so I decided to go for a walk down to the water’s edge.  The beach was small, with a dock pulled up onto the shore for the winter.  I could hardly wait till I could go swimming in the summer and lay down on the dock soaking up the sun, for now I would have to wait and enjoy the beauty of northern Ontario’s winter wonderland.  The lake was partially frozen and you could see the snowmobile tracks in the snow.  The trees had a fresh layer of snow which made them look like giant green cookies with frosting on them.  I saw rabbit tracks and what looked like deer tracks in the snow leading to were there had been an opening in the ice for water.  During this time of year one never knew how long the snow would last, the temperature fluctuated too much.  The snow usually didn’t stick until after Christmas.  I wondered back and forth along the beach thinking about everything that had happened since September.  I moved back to Canada, found my godfather, found out my real birthday was in August not at the end of September, I had made some great friends and I felt like I had a home for the first time in a very long time.  I knew then that I didn’t want to leave.  I wanted to stay here, no matter what happened I wanted this area to be my home.  I knew that I was more mature than most people my age I usually got along better with people about twenty or thirty years older than me.  I knew this was because of being an only child and moving or running all the time.  I had to grow up fast, learning to take care of things.  Now I didn’t look over my shoulder as much.  I knew that I was getting lazy, I had to be diligent, who knew when one of my father’s associates would show up and wreck everything that I had built here.  The hardest part would be when I would have to leave James, Lizzy, Cassy, Will and Alex.  They were my closest friends and I didn’t want to lose that.  I had grown attached, I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn’t do that but I couldn’t help it.  I wanted to belong.  I wanted friends. I wanted a family and I wanted to date.  Well, some things were wishful thinking.  I had friends and family now and that was good enough.  I wouldn’t risk dating I didn’t want anyone to have that stupid ‘claim’ on me.  Man that was always a ‘kill joy’ every time I would start to fantasize about Alex (because he was the only one I wanted to be with even if he had been a jerk) that stupid eighteenth birthday curse would creep up and ruin it.  I looked at my feet, I felt like crying. I just want to be normal but how can I be normal when I can move a full grown man so easily with my mind and see in the dark? What is normal about that?  I couldn’t even tell my best friend about it.  My tears started to well and spill over in my frustration.  James walked into view, he always had good timing. 

“Are you ok Anna?” he put his arm around my shoulder.

“Not really” I confessed wiping my eyes on my jacket sleeve.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a gentle concerned voice.

“I-I don’t want this to end.  I want so much more.  For the first time in my life I feel somewhat safe.  I feel like I don’t have to look over my shoulder.  That I can have friends and family and I want more.  But I know it’s only a matter of time and I’ll be running again and I don’t want to.  I know I shouldn’t get attached to the people here but I have.  I-I don’t know what to do.  I’m just so confused, I’m not used to letting my guard down and I hate that I can’t tell my best friend all the weird stuff that’s happening to me.  I want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend that I can tell everything to.  I don’t want to hide anymore.”  I stopped my rant before I made a complete fool out of myself.

“I know you want things to be normal.  I’ve tried to make it that way as much as possible. Perhaps I did that job too well, I never meant for you to be so tormented.  I love having you here and I want you to stay.  As for your friends, things will work out in the end, you’ll see.” he half hugged my shoulders.  I turned into my godfather’s chest and leaned my head against him.

“Anna would you do me a favour tonight?” he asked quietly.

“Sure” I said as I looked up into his face.  He smiled down at me.

“I want you to pretend that you are a normal teenager, that’s what I want for Christmas.  I want you to be that girl, even if it’s for just one night.  I want you to be with your friends and have a good time.  I want you to have that memory because no one can take away your memories Anna.” he put his arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly for a second.  He was the father I had always wanted. 

“Okay, just one night, like you said one good memory, something to hold onto.  You know James, I wish you were my dad, I want to stay here with you.” the tears were starting again.  He wiped my eyes with his finger.

“I wish that too kid.  I really do.” he kissed my forehead.  There was a shimmer of moisture in his eyes as he pulled back to look at me.

“You better get inside and start getting ready.  We’re expected to be there at six o’clock.” he gently pushed me away from his chest.

I smiled slowly and nodded.

“Do you mind if I blast the music while I get ready.  I want to be in a good mood before we leave, not all melancholy” I asked.

“Sure kid. Whatever you want.” he smiled broadly.

            When I got back to the house I went to the stereo and hooked up my new ipod.  I turned the music up as loud as I could stand.  I didn’t want to think, I just listened to the beat and headed for the shower.

At five thirty I came out of my room dressed and ready to go.  I looked at myself in the hall mirror.  My golden hair was piled in curls on top of my head with a few ringlets hanging down the nape of my neck.  I had put on light make-up, just mascara, a little blush and lip gloss. My mother’s white gold crescent moon diamond and sapphire pendant hung around my neck.  The purple flowy dress that I bought in September accentuated my figure perfectly. The shawl that I had gotten from Lizzy was almost a perfect match and accented the dress wonderfully.  My shoes were sexy that’s why I got them.  I looked like I was nineteen or twenty.  I admired my handy work for a few more moments.  As I turned I saw James in a three piece suit looking very dashing.  He whistled lowly.

“Wow kid you look beautiful, just like your mother when she was that age.”

“Thank you, you look really nice too.” I blushed. He beamed at my complement.

“Well let’s get going.” he said.  I hooked off my shoes and slipped my winter boots on I grabbed my coat, shoes and hand bag and was out the door and headed for the car before James had said another word. 

 

We arrived at the Deer Hurst Lodge just before six o’clock.  I slipped out of my boots while we were still in the car and put my shoes on.  James came around to my door and helped me out of the car.  We walked into the lodge arm in arm.  I felt like his daughter and he acted as though I were, I loved every minute.  We walk into the lobby to see Christmas garlands hanging everywhere with twinkle lights, it was so majestic looking.  Max and Katie were standing next to the entrance of the grand dining room.  They beamed with joy as we walked towards them.

“My my, you look fantastic Anna. Wait till Lizzy and the other’s see you, I almost didn’t recognize you.” Max commented and then winked at my godfather.

“You clean up pretty good to James, what happened?” Max teased.

I blushed “thank you”

 James just laughed and shook Max’s hand and then kissed Katie on the cheek.

“Why do you put up with him?” he joked.

“Love does that to you” she sighed and smiled.

“Anna dear you look wonderful.  Lizzy and the other’s are by the DJ.” 

“Thank you Katie.  You look amazing and the lodge looks great.”  Katie was wearing a sleek black satin strapless gown that went to the floor.  Her dark hair framed her face perfectly. She looked like a runway model. 

“Thank you dear.” she smiled fondly as she motioned me towards the entrance of the dinning room.  As I walked into the dining room and took in everything I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the room.  There were tables on three sides of the room with an open square in the centre for the dance floor.  Garland hung from the chandeliers a large Christmas tree was in the corner by the DJ covered in Swarovski crystal ornaments, I had never seen anything like it.  Each table had a six inch circular cylinder vase with white and red stones and a submergible light, there were red and cream rose petals strewn around each vase.  The room was breath taking.

“Anna” Lizzy called in disbelief.

I turned and smiled at my best friend.  I saw Alex standing with his back to me he was wearing a black suit.  Will nudged Alex and he turned my breath was taken away the contrast of his black suit with his skin, he was stunning.  He looked like he had just stepped off a runway at New York fashion gig.  His mouth dropped slightly as he looked at me.  I blushed and looked down.

“Hi Lizzy, Will, Alex” I hadn’t seen the others yet.

“You look amazing” Lizzy complimented.

“Thank you, you look fantastic Lizzy I love that colour on you, it makes your eyes pop even more.  It’s stunning” Lizzy beamed with joy at the compliment.

“You’re sitting with us at our table.  James is sitting with Max and Katie.  We wanted you to have fun, not sit with the stuffy adults all night talking politics” Lizzy mockingly yawned.  I smiled as she walked me to their table so I could put my clutch and shawl down.

Shortly after we arrived other guest started arriving.  Soon the dining room was buzzing with cheer.  Dinner was served at eight o’clock.  The first course was a small garden salad with a raspberry vinaigrette, the second course was a small bowl of cream of cheese and broccoli soup, the main course was turkey and ham with a baked potato and sour cream, mixed vegetables and a fresh roll, for dessert we had the most amazing triple chocolate fudge cake I had ever tasted.  While dessert was being served Max and Katie welcomed and thanked everyone for coming to the benefit Christmas party.  All proceeds from the dinner were going to a women’s shelter in our community.  Lizzy explained that they chose a different organization every year and all proceeds would go to help less fortunate people that used that organizations services like the women’s shelter this year , or Saint Vincent Du Paul last year.  Lizzy’s family had put on this benefit for five years now.  They believed that helping others was the most important thing they could do during this time of year.  They also put on benefits in the spring and summer.

After dessert was finished the DJ started to play.  I watched as several couples including Lizzy and Will and Cassy and George ballroom dance to an upbeat waltz.  I was mesmerised by the sheer beauty of it.  James came to my side

“Would you dance with me kid?”

“Sure, but watch out for your toes” I smiled teasingly and nodded towards the dance floor.  James grabbed my hand smiling and led me to the dance floor.  He put one hand on my upper back, motioned me to place my hand on his shoulder and then I placed my other hand in his.  I started to move as he gently put pressure on my back to tell me which way to go.  He led me around the room gracefully turning me and guiding me until the song ended.

“Well what do you think?” he asked.

“I really liked that.  I’ve never danced with anyone better.  Thank you” I smiled.

“Your welcome kid, I expect to get at least one more dance out of you before the end of the night, parental digression and all” he teased.

“Okay” I smiled, liking the parental comment.  I could see Lizzy and Alex arguing about something by the DJ so I left them alone.  I walked back to our table and sat down next to Will.

“What’s going on with Lizzy and Alex?” I asked concerned.  He looked over to them and back at me, he shrugged “beats me.”  I looked at him confused and then let it go.  Dance music started to play and all the young people were moving to the floor.  Will smirked at me and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s dance” he said and dragged me to the dance floor.  Cassy and George joined us after a few seconds.  We were having a great time.  Alex and Lizzy joined us shortly after, dancing with the music as though nothing had happened between them.  We were dancing and laughing for most of the night.  Finally the DJ decided to slow things down again I looked at Alex, he was about to leave the dance floor so I looked at James and he nodded encouragement.  I reached out and gently touched Alex’s arm.  He stopped and looked at me with a confused expression.

“Would you like to dance?” I asked looking into his eyes shyly and then looking down quickly waiting for rejection.  He reached down and took my hand and led me to the centre of the dance floor.  I looked up into his breath taking green eyes for a moment as I placed one hand lightly on his shoulder and the other in his hand.  We danced around the room looking into each other’s eyes.  I felt lost in them, I didn’t want to look away.  He smiled softly then slowly leaned forward and whispered into my ear.

“Are you having a good time, Anna?” when he said my name it was like music, like he was caressing me.  It gave me chills up and down my spine. 

“Yes” I breathed.  He chuckled. 

“You don’t like to let your feelings be known do you?” he teased. 

“No, I don’t” I said shyly. 

“I was surprised you asked me to dance, I didn’t think you liked me like that considering that you’ve hardly spoken to me since November” he teased again.

I blushed deep red, I could feel the heat increase all over so I looked at my feet the butterflies in my stomach were in full force and I didn’t know what to say.  He smiled knowingly at me.

“You look beautiful tonight, I’m glad you came.” he whispered in my ear again his lips glance across my cheek lightly.

“Thank you.  I’m glad I came too.  This memory will be my best” I said more to myself than to him.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked as he raised his eyebrow.

“Oh, nothing, just that this has been the best night I can remember.  I’m where I want to be, with family and friends.” I told the truth, most of it anyway.  I wasn’t going to confess that I would dream of him and dancing for the next few months.  I had done my utmost to make him think that I only saw him as a friend, but tonight I let that wall down too.  I wanted more, just for one night I wanted to pretend that we were together.

“I’m not sure I should ask you this, I know that you and Lizzy are best friends and that you still might be a bit mad at me but I would like to take you out for dinner after Christmas if that’s ok.” he looked at me with a soft smile on his lips.

“I don’t know” I looked at my feet.

“I’d like too” I said almost a whisper.

He put his hand under my chin and raised my head so that I had to look into his eyes.  He smiled.

“Don’t worry, I asked Lizzy already and I promised I wouldn’t do anything to upset you” I smiled shyly and nodded.  I had my perfect night, my perfect memory.  Alex and I danced the rest of the night. 

When the night ended Lizzy, Alex, Will and I agreed to get together for a double date before New Years.  James took me home reluctantly as I didn’t want the night to end. 

“Well it looks like you had a good time” he smiled. 

“It was the best night ever.  You were right a perfect memory” I beamed at him. 

“It looks like you and Alex have finally figured something out.  I’ve been waiting for it for months now” he teased. 

“He asked me to dinner after Christmas, we’ll see what happens but I have to remember what’s coming James.  Can I really go there with him?  Can I really risk any of their lives?  I don’t think so. Not after what happened to Paul.” I said sadly and looked out the window as the night went by.

Chapter 15

Chapter 15:  Barrie

 

 I was looking forward to the Christmas break.  Two weeks to relax and unwind after final exams.  Lizzy and I were planning a trip to Barrie again so that we could do some shopping.  James and I had been invited to the annual Worthington Christmas Party and benefit dinner. It was in one week, just after final exams. I only had to write three exams, oh joy oh bliss, NOT.   My exams were on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, so Lizzy and I planned our shopping trip on Friday.  James had asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told him that I just wanted to be with family, which meant him as I considered him my only family now.   He got all bashful on me, when I told him that.

Lizzy picked me up Friday morning in the black BMW and we were off.  We got to Barrie around eleven in the morning.  Lizzy went to a fancy dress shop on Main Street.  She found a gorgeous baby blue silk dress with spaghetti straps. It was a very flattering colour for her.    We went to Moxy’s for lunch at Georgian mall after we finished shopping for shoes.  When lunch was finished I wanted to go to a jewellery store for a minute so we decided to meet back at the restaurant in one hour.  That way we could get our Christmas shopping done too.  I went to a small silver store, I wanted to get Lizzy a necklace as I knew she liked jewellery.  I found a sterling silver necklace with a crystal butterfly.  I thought it would go nicely with her dress as I wasn’t going to see her for Christmas.  Next I went to find something for Alex, just in case I thought to myself, I knew that we hadn’t been on the greatest of speaking terms since Halloween and the break in but I still had a huge crush on him.  I was wondering through an eclectic store with all kinds of ethnic trinkets and I saw an unusual leather book which was black with a strange swirling pattern through it.  When I opened it, it was full of blank pages for writing.  Alex was always writing on scraps of paper and losing them, he would get so annoyed when he did that.  This would be good for him.  I also found a really good pen that went well with the writing book.  Next I went to find something for James.  That wasn’t going to be the easiest thing.  I finally went into a men’s clothing store and found a pull over sweater, cream in colour.  He didn’t have a lot of casual clothes that I had noticed.  He always wore his work clothes.  I just hoped that this would fit he looked like a 2XL kinda guy.  As I walked down the hallway I noticed a pretty bracelet in the window of Mappins jewellery store.  It was white gold with diamonds and sapphires I’ve always loved sapphires.  Lizzy came up beside me and looked into the window too.

“Do you like it?” she asked pointing to the bracelet.

“Yes.  I love sapphires, they were my mother’s favourite too.  I have a necklace of hers that I’m going to wear Saturday night.” I said.

“Well, I can’t wait to see it.  It should be fun to see you all dressed up” she said giving me an appraising look.

“Well I’m sure you’ll out do everyone there.  The dress you got will knock Will’s socks off and I’m sure every other guy’s socks too.” I laughed warmly.

“Do you want to get ready together?” she asked.

“I think I’d rather surprise you.” I laughed.

“I hate surprises, I always peek, that’s why Will and Alex have to hide my presents every year, they usually go shopping on Christmas Eve so that I can’t find out what they got me.” she giggled.  I just shook my head. 

“So what did you get me for Christmas?” Lizzy was almost bouncing where she stood.

“You’re impossible.”  I teased.  “You’re just going to have to wait, I’ll give it to you tomorrow morning.  Not a second sooner.”

“No fair!!” she whined.

“Hardly, Will warned me to keep whatever I could a secret when it comes to presents for anyone. He said you can’t keep it to yourself” I looked at her with a knowing stare.

“That traitor, he’ll pay when I get my hands on him” she glared at me and then started the big eyes and pouty lip routine.

“Nice try” I turned and started walking to the next store pretending to ignore her.  She stomped her foot and followed.  I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing.  She punched my shoulder as we started heading for the car.

We got back to my place in record time and James had pizza waiting for us.  We talked all night about the party.  I could hardly wait it was the first fancy party that I was going too.

“So are you planning on dancing the night away girls?” James asked.

“You bet” Lizzy commented.

“Well I’ll try but I don’t have a partner.” I confessed.

“Don’t worry kid.  I got you covered, I’ll lead you follow” James beamed at me.  I smiled happily at him.

“What if I step on your foot?” I said teasingly.

“It can’t be worse than what you put me through on Sundays” he joked.   I laughed too.  Lizzy and I headed for bed around ten at night because we wanted to get a good night’s sleep or at least the best sleep I could get.

It was Saturday morning and Lizzy was almost ready to go.  I pulled out the small box from its hiding spot and handed it to her.  She opened it with enthusiasm.

“It’s so pretty” she beamed. “It’ll go perfectly with my dress”

“I knew you would like” I smiled.

Lizzy handed me a medium sized box.  “Lizzy. This is perfect. This shawl will be great with my dress. Where did you find it?”  The shawl was a shear silver fabric with purple embroidered flowers.  It was so light and soft.  I’d never seen anything like it.

“Oh! I have some cool friends who make some amazing items” she smiled whimsically. 

“I’ll see you tonight” Lizzy called over her shoulder.

“You bet.  And don’t steal the spotlight completely ok” I said jokingly.

She smiled and waved as she got into her car and drove away.

Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Attack

 

 

The past few weeks have been relatively quiet and a regular routine is making things easier as time seems to be moving along.  Lizzy and I would switch off staying at each other’s houses and I became really good friends with Will, and Cassy.  Alex was a bit more aloof when I was around because of our fight, it was weird though, he still watched me in class and at school when he didn’t think I was paying attention but he would barely talk to me.  I didn’t really know what to make of it but I did start acknowledging him in the hall between classes after about a week of the silent treatment.  George and Stephan were not around much when I was over so I didn’t get to know them as well.  Every night I would wake up soaked in sweat I would sit in the dark and meditate trying to calm my nerves as I was starting to remember bits and pieces of my dreams.  Well nightmares really.  I could see myself in an open field with people all around me fighting each other.  I didn’t understand the dream, but I figure it had something to do with me turning eighteen so I tried not to think about it.  Every Sunday James and I would go to the little clearing to practise, rain or snow we always went.  I was getting better control each week with throwing him with my mind.  I was able to actually set him down gently a couple of times.  James continued to instruct me on meditation exercises and he asked me to meditate at least twice a day.  That wasn’t easy on the weekends when Lizzy was around but we decided that Sunday through Friday should be good enough for meditation. 

It’s the last week in November and finals are fast approaching, as usual I’m in Biology, my first class and I don’t feel good.  I’ve had hardly any sleep over the past week because of my nightmares and I can feel a cold coming on.  So I gathered my books and left class.  I went to the washroom and saw my beyond pale face and decided to go home. 

When I woke up from my nap I had two messages on my cell, Lizzy had called twice trying to find me.  My phone rang as I was about to call her, when I looked at the caller ID it was her.

“Hey Lizzy” I said sleepily.

“Where are you?  I’ve been worried.” She said.

“I wasn’t feeling well so I came home.” I replied.

“The nightmares are really bothering you aren’t they?” she asked.

“Yes, I guess you could say that and I think I’m getting a cold.”

“Do you need anything?” she asked concerned.

“Could you get my homework and drop it off for me?” I asked.

“Sure, Bio and Algebra and Geometry right.”

“Ya”

“Did you tell James that you went home?” she asked curiously.

“No, I’ll do that in a few minutes.” I replied.

“Okay I’ll see you in a bit.” Lizzy said in a rushed tone.

It was three in the afternoon and classes were being let out, Lizzy would be here in ten minutes knowing her, I smiled and stretched as I got out of bed.  I pulled my brush through my hair and then heard the front door open and close quietly.  I looked outside but I couldn’t see the driveway from my room.

“James, I’m sorry but I forgot to call you to tell you I came home early.” I said as I walked out of my room into the family room.  I stopped dead in my tracks as a young man with dark tanned skin, brown eyes and dark hair looked at me in astonishment.  I started to back up and he raised a gun to eye level.  My eyes widened and I froze, my heart started to race as I tried to figure out where to go.  I looked around me desperately looking for a weapon to protect myself with.

“Don’t even try it Anastasia” he spoke with a Spanish accent. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I looked at him in horror.

“To think I came here to see if James had information on your whereabouts and I just happen to find you living here.  How ironic, your father never would have guessed that.  The last time I found information about you here I was riffling through his mail and found the letter from New Mexico.  It took us a lot longer to trace you to New York.  I’m so pleased, I’m sure I’ll get a bonus for handing you over to him.” He smiled angelically with delight.  I couldn’t speak let alone move as terror gripped me.  I’d become too lax lately, too comfortable and all I wanted to do right now was run.

A knock at the door startled me and I realized that Lizzy was bringing my homework over.

“Anastasia, it’s me.  Lizzy had to stay after school I’ve got your assignments.” Alex’s voice called.

“Anna, I know your there.” He said impatiently.

I looked at the man with the gun and he waved it motioning me to go to the door.  I moved slowly watching him constantly as he put a finger to his lips telling me to be quiet.

“Get rid of him” he whispered.

As I reached the door I felt the gun press into my left side and I stiffened and froze.  He pushed the gun into my side as I reached for the door.

“It took you long enough” Alex said a bit annoyed.

“Sorry” I whispered.

“Are you okay?” he asked as I opened the door just enough so that if he looked at the glass he could see the man with the gun.

“Yes” I said my voice cracking as I took my books and looked into his eyes.  He stopped as he realized my hands were shaking he saw the fear in my eyes then looked at the glass of the window.  His expression never changed.

“Look, my cell reception sucks here I have to call my uncle, can I use your phone?” he asked.

“Um. No Alex you should go.  I’m not allowed to let anyone in when James isn’t around.” I said shakily.

“Oh come on.” He said and barged through the door.

He moved so fast I could barely comprehend what was happening.  Alex moved around me agilely and grabbed the gun.  He and the Spanish man struggled for a few minutes as Alex tried to get the gun away from him.  When Alex slammed the man’s wrist onto the counter the gun went off and I screamed.  Alex hit his hand again and the gun fell into the sink.  The Spanish man punched and kicked Alex and he retaliated with a flurry of fast moves.  The two men grappled each other and fell to the floor were Alex finally pinned the man on his stomach.

“Anna, call James now,” Alex commanded and tossed me his phone. “and find some duct tape.”

I dialed James’s number as I went to the kitchen draws and grabbed the tape out of the third drawer.

“Alex, what can I do for you?” James said cheerily.

“It’s Anna, you have to come home NOW.” I said shakily.

“What happened? Where’s Alex?” He demanded.

“A Spanish guy broke in, Alex has him pinned, he’s duct taping his arms and feet together.  Please come quick.” Fear laced my voice as I spoke.

“Anna, stay put. Stay with Alex I’ll be there soon. I’ll send George there right away.” James said urgently.

“Okay.” I whispered as I moved as far away from the man as possible and sank to the floor.

“Did he hurt you?” James asked.

“No” I replied.

“I’m on my way and so is George, he’ll get there before me okay.” James' voice was firm and controlled.  I new he would be here soon, I just had to stay focused a bit longer.

“Yes” I replied as I stared into brown eyes that glared at me in hatred.

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” he bellowed.

“Actually I can and I am.” Alex said amused as he placed a piece of tape over his mouth.

A few minutes later George ran into the house and stopped surveying the room.  He saw me cowering in shock in the corner and then Alex with the gun pointed at the Spanish man tied up on the floor.  He moved swiftly and took the gun from Alex.

“Go to her.” He said as he glared down at the man.  Alex walked slowly towards me and then sat beside me.  He pulled me into his arms as I shook and his arms tightened protectively.

Stephan came through the door holding chains and shackles, he applied the shackles to his ankles first and then to his wrists.  George cut the duct tape and ripped it off making the man flinch then they pulled him to his feet and took him outside.

George came back into the house and walked slowly towards me and crouched down so that he was eye level with me.

“Anna, it’ll be okay now he won’t hurt you.” He said gently.

I nodded leaning closer to Alex finding comfort in his strong arms.

“Anna what did he want?” George asked.  He saw the fear in my eyes as I looked out the door.

“Anna, look at me.” George said gently and placed a hand on my cheek.

“I won’t let him near you.  I work with James its okay to tell me.” His voice was soft and compelling and his eyes were full of worry and sincerity as he spoke.  I nodded and looked at my shaking hands for a minute.

“I wasn’t feeling good this morning at school so I came home early and crashed.  When I got up Lizzy called I asked her to get my homework.   Then I was going to call James but I heard the front door open and close so I assumed he had come home early.  I walked out of my room and there he was.  He was astonished to see me and when I tried to bolt he raised the gun.  He-he said that he had been here before and found a letter from my mother when we were in New Mexico.  That’s how my father found us.  He came here looking for information on me and when he found me instead he was happy because he could turn me over to him for a bonus.  If my father finds me I’m dead and so is James.” I whispered.

“Your father won’t find you, we’ll deal with it.” George said as James rushed into the house.

“Anna.” He said in a relieved but worried voice.

Alex got me to my feet and I ran into James’ arms.  His embrace was crushingly strong but I didn’t care it made me feel safe.

“Thank you Alex, George.” James said sincerely.

“I’ll take him to the interrogation room.” George said.

“I’ll be along shortly.” James said.

“NO” I said panicked I didn’t want to be alone.

“Alex could you call Max and see if she can stay with you for the weekend I think she would feel safer with you and Lizzy.” James asked.

“Of course” Alex said and called home.  He spoke quickly explaining what had happened.

“Anna, Lizzy wants to talk to you for a second okay.” Alex said gently and handed me the phone.

“Anna, oh god are you okay?” Lizzy asked.

“Yes, just shaken is all” I replied quietly.

“Pack a bag and Alex will bring you here.  We’ll go out or watch movies to get your mind off this.” Lizzy tried to sound cheerful but I could hear the worry in her voice.

“Okay” I whispered.

“Can you put Alex on again?” She asked.

“Sure” I replied and handed the phone back to Alex.

“Hey” Alex said into the receiver but his eyes got a faraway look in them as he turned to the window.

“Go pack your stuff for the weekend kid.  I’ll be right here I promise” James said as he squeezed me once more and let me go.

I collected everything I needed for the weekend and walked to the door.  James looked at me with a worried expression.

“Anna I’ll come by the Worthington’s in a few hours, George and I need to interrogate this man.” James said quietly.

“Promise to tell me everything you learn?” I asked.

“Of course.” James replied.

“Alex, take good care of my girl this weekend.” James ordered.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep an eye on her.” He smiled. “Anna lets go, Lizzy’s waiting for you.” I nodded and followed Alex out the door.

As we drove to the Worthington’s I leaned my head on the window thinking to myself, not really paying attention to the music that was quietly playing in the background or to Alex.  All I knew was that I had been found and that Alex could have been killed because of me.  I was numb with the fear of losing him.  I knew then just how much I cared about Alex and I could never allow myself to get close to him because he could die.  I would rather he be a friend than if anything were to happen to him.  What do I do about Lizzy though?  I couldn’t shut her out it was too late for that.  I sighed softly as I resolved that if I could save one of them it would be better than nothing.  Alex gently touched my arm and I pulled away reflexively.

“Anna its okay I promise I won’t hurt you.” He said gently as I began to shake in fear again.  I nodded trying to calm my fears and took a deep breath.  I glanced at him and gave him a soft apologetic smile.

“We’re home Anna.” Alex looked at me with troubled eyes as he saw the sadness in my eyes at the resolve I had just made.  He just didn’t know that he was the reason I was so sad.  I nodded and slowly opened the car door.  I looked around feeling like a lost child when I saw Katie walking slowly towards me.  She pulled me into a gentle embrace and stroked my hair like my mother would have done.  I leaned my head on her shoulder for a few minutes and then slowly pulled away from her.

“Anna dear, are you okay?” she asked gently.  I shook my head as a mist of tears were coming to the surface for the first time.

“Come inside then and relax, try not to worry too much, you’ll be safe here with us and we won’t let anyone near you until you’re ready.” She said softly.  I nodded as Lizzy took my hand and gently pulled me into the house. I followed her without really paying attention to what was going on around me, I felt lost and completely helpless. I didn’t know who to turn to so I did what I always did and internalized everything and started working through each emotion and fear one at a time.

“Do you want to watch a movie or do you want to go to my room?” Lizzy asked quietly.  I looked at her not really comprehending what she was saying for about a minute and then motioned towards the hall that led to her room.  She nodded and walked me down the hall and into her room.  Alex put my bag on the floor by the bathroom and left us alone.  Lizzy wrapped her arms around me tightly and I did the same as the first of my tears finally spilt over.  I clung to her the only safety that I had and I cried for myself and for the fact that I would never be with Alex the one person I had felt safe with during this whole mess, the person who had most likely captured my heart and I would never get the chance to tell him that.

“Do you want to lie down for awhile?” Lizzy asked.  I nodded and rubbed my eyes I knew they were red and swollen.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Lizzy asked gently.  I shook my head as I held her hand I just wasn’t ready to speak yet and I knew my voice wouldn’t come until I had dealt with the fear of being found.  I curled up in bed and Lizzy sat at her desk and quietly tapped away on the keyboard of her computer I listened to the sound of the keys and slowly drifted to sleep.

            I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in sweet as usual only this time I felt weak and disoriented.  I looked around the room and realized that I was in Lizzy’s room but she was nowhere to be seen.  I slowly got out of bed and went into the bathroom and washed my face.  When I looked at the clock it was three thirty in the morning.  I shook my head slowly and decided to go for a walk around the house.  When I went into the hall I turned towards Alex’s room and took a step before I stopped myself.  I wanted nothing more than to go to his room and have him hold me protectively like he had done earlier but I knew that would be a mistake so I went to the same spot I always did, the family room, and stared out the window.  A few minutes later I felt as if I was being watched I turned slightly towards the kitchen and saw Alex standing in the doorway.  I sighed quietly and then turned back to the window not saying a word.  I felt the heat of his body as he stood close behind me, I dropped my head and looked at my feet because I knew that if he saw my eyes he would be able to read every emotion I had about him and I couldn’t let him see that.

“How are you?” he asked quietly.

“Shaken to the core.” I replied.

“What do you mean?” he asked softly.

“For the first time I wasn’t able to do anything to save myself.  I froze and I was helpless.  I’ve never felt that way before and it made me realize that I’m not as strong as I thought I was.  I got lax and this was the outcome.” I responded sadly.

“Anna you’re safe here, you do know that right?” he asked.

“I’m not safe anywhere Alex and neither are the people who are close to me.  I doesn’t matter if I feel safe or not it’s just an illusion, one day my father will find me and I will have to deal with him whether I want to or not.  The only real question is, am I willing to let people get hurt for me and to be honest the answer is no.” I could hear the sadness in my voice.

“Anna it can’t be that bad.” Alex said in a voice that had a hint of worry.

“You and the others don’t really know me Alex, yes I’ve learned who I want to be but you know nothing of my past or what my father is capable of.  I do.” I looked out the window as tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I wish you’d let me in Anna, I wish you’d let me be a shoulder for you.” Alex said quietly.  I could see the sadness in his eyes reflected in the window.

“I can’t do that Alex, we can only be friends.  I’m not willing to risk your life if you get that close to me, no matter what I want.” I sighed.  I watched his reflection in the window as he nodded sadly.

“Thank you for saving me Alex and being that shoulder to lean on.  I owe you and I won’t forget that.” I said softly.

“Anna, I would have done the same thing for anyone, you don’t owe me anything and your welcome.” He said.

            I turned and faced him for a moment I looked into his eyes and then kissed his cheek.  I went back to bed without another word.  The rest of the weekend was quiet.  Lizzy and I watched movies, Alex stayed away, I hardly saw him except at dinner.  James stopped by twice a day and on Sunday he brought me home, he told me that the man who had broken in had not been able to tell my father where I was and that my father was still in Spain at least for the moment.